Hallways Are Not Designed For This

The guy above is Nate Myles. He’s 25 years old, Australian and played professional rugby for an elite team in Queensland.

Played is the operative word here, for a few days ago, Myles found himself in the center of controversy down there on that giant island continent.

And frankly, I feel pretty bad for him, because let’s be realistic: raise your hand if you HAVEN’T been in a situation where you had to go to the bathroom so badly that you didn’t care where you went.

Put your hand down. You’re lying.

Myles was in a hotel sleeping a few nights back when the rumbling of his tummy allegedly woke him up. He stumbled around in his dark hotel suite (why he didn’t try to find a light to turn on, we will never know…oh wait…I do know…he was wasted) trying to find the bathroom. Instead of opening the door to the toilet, he opened the front door of his room and before he realized he’d made a mistake, the door locked behind him.

Oops.

So now, a pantsless, drunk, 25-year-old pro athlete with a desperate urge to poo frantically knocked on the door of the next room. The occupants refused to let him in.

Myles was out of options. He let loose right there in the hallway, then hid in a fire stairwell for the remainder of the night.

His punishment? A six-week suspension and a $50,000 fine apparently is the standard for defecating in a Crowne Plaza hallway.

As if no one would figure it out, either. Come on now. No would would suspected the WASTED guy was the one who left a giant dump in the hall next to his hotel room. He also was forced to pay a $400 fee to clean up the…um…mess.

–justin